Monday, June 30, 2008

Jay Bilas explains many things

Many of us were left scratching our collective heads during many instances of last week's NBA Draft. Certainly the picks were not what we expected, but it was the lexicon of one Jay Bilas that really turned the night upside down for us.

"Elongated reach"? "Bounce in his swagger"?

But it all makes sense now, as Jay Bilas explains that he refrained from using such terms as "long" and "upside" because he was aware of the drinking games revolving around their usage.

Did you notice that I did not use the terms "long" or "upside" a single time during ESPN's NBA draft coverage? I am aware of the drinking games that are based upon the use of such terms, and I did my level best to reduce binge drinking across the country. We all have to do what we can. Instead of "long," I used the terms "length," "stretch," "elongated," "extend" and the ever-popular "considerable linear extent in space." With one player, I stated that his arms "extend beyond normal or moderate limits." The descriptive term "long" has been a term of art in basketball for years, but it was kind of fun to see if I could go the entire draft without using it. I'll probably go back to my usual terminology now.

Thanks for going out of your way to combat binge drinking, Jay. You made our night that much better.

[H/T Awful Announcing]